CURSE FROM A LOVED ONCE

Now
you are there, here am i.
Without words,
solitary: the unvoiced song of a raging tempest.
I thought you would feel the crushing, the torn,
My sore heart.
I couldn't kill you. Long before you killed me.
No. I wouldn't try hard.
To curse you is how my heart uncurses mine. And so,

you will live a long life. Ten of us would not be enough.
Three heads in the pocket
of your sleeves. Indulgence visible at the layers of your neck.
you will lose shape, those jelly belly. Hair grows at the back of
your ears. Everytime you walk to the bathroom, you'll lose
tons of fat; but regains itself after lunch. Slowly will you lift those
arms and joints will ache as excruciating as the brokenness you gave me.
One night someone will cross your
door mats, and creeps up to your bed unscreeching as you sleep peacefully
under the sharp bright starry evening
as you dream of your death it will come in a nice soft white pillow
not to hug but to struggle.
Don't be shattered. You will feel indomitable. Afraid of dark. Afraid to be alone.
I won't kill you.
Or cut you throat with a knife just like what you taught me.
But someone will.
Because you big bastard will live long enveloped in this curse.
Then you'll think of me
and how miserable my life turned out after you threw me away
like those smoke sticks you enjoy
- sipping the light out of it. The life out of it.

I'm your residue.

As the lines of your life struggles to peak, I will pull them down
--down until you are so ravaged.
It's so hard to tell you to come back when you'll
just slap me. And I will be contented because you touched me again.
Now
you are there, here am I.
-- how can the world be so through with you?
Yet,
you're not through with me.